The Ageless Youth Movement

Ladies and gentlemen, here is the projected Opening Day lineup for your Kansas City Royals!

CF - David DeJesus (yahoo, yippee, a real player!)
2B - Mark Grudzielanek (alright, a recognizable name, even if I can't spell it)
DH - Mike Sweeney (whose back and neck are being held together with garbage bag twisties)
RF - Reggie Sanders (who is older than me and sports the middle name "Laverne")
LF - Emil Brown (decent hitter, apocalyptic glove man)
1B - Doug Mientkiewicz (and his Gold Glove, wiffle ball bat, and attorney)
3B - Mark Teahen (so bland that I don't even have a joke here)
SS - Angel Berroa (a.k.a. We Don't Need No Stinkin' Walks!)
C - John Buck (a man crying out for the nickname "What The")

Average age on Opening Day: 30 (and I haven't even counted Matt Stairs yet)

This year's motto: The Ageless Youth Movement